February: Valentine's, Vomit, and Volunteering

I have always tried to help in each child's classroom. With 3 kids in elementary school, it makes it hard to volunteer in each of their classrooms every week, especially with either bringing Ethan with me or finding someone (primarily Nana) to watch him. In February, Lizzy's first grade teacher needed me once weekly and I agreed to start coming, with the understanding that I would always bring Ethan and when he had reached his limit on volunteering we would leave.

(Sophie's Valentine Party-I volunteered)

The first week I was to attend Lizzy was sick and therefore we couldn't go. The second time I was to volunteer Ethan was sick and I just couldn't bring myself to writing another note stating I was not going to be there. I didn't want anyone to think I was a flaky mom. So, in my stupidity, I gave Ethan Tylenol for the fever, Robitussin for the cough, and Benedryl to sedate him and dry his secretions and off we went to volunteer.

(Andrew's Valentine Party-I was in charge)

We arrived and the classroom was running smoothly and I helped children at the reading station. Twenty minutes into volunteering I smelled something poopy. I asked Ethan if he was alright and he came up and confessed he had messed his pants (he had been potty trained for forever and hadn't had an accident in even longer). I quickly took him into the bathroom where I discovered he had diarrhea. I took off his poopy underwear and instead of washing it (because I had nothing to put it into, I stuffed the underwear in my pocket). I then cleaned him up and we returned to the classroom. Time went on and we continued to volunteer. Another 20 minutes later and Ethan came up to me stating his tummy hurt. I had him lay his head in my lap and I rubbed his back, while helping a child read.

(Lizzy's 1st grade class)


A minute later he looked up at me and then proceeded to throw up all over the front of me. Now, in my quick thinking, I tried to "catch" most of the vomit in my lap, knowing that if it hit the 60 year old carpet below me it would become a calcified part of history in this classroom. I whipped Ethan's shirt off of him, blotted up the big chunks in my lap, turned to the teacher and frankly stated, "We are out of here!"

After we exited the classroom poor Ethan is sobbing, shirtless, and it is cold. I am waddling with vomit all over me and we run into Sophie and her Kindergarten teacher. She gives me a puzzled look, I give her a brief explanation, then we race to car. I get to the car, reach my hand in my pocket to grab my keys but instead of discovering my keys I discover Ethan's poopy pair of underwear and now my hand is covered.



I then proceed to drive home left handed while dry heaving from the stench on my clothes and hand. I put Ethan in the tub, me in the shower, and by 9:00 am we are back in pajamas and don't intend to change again.

So the lessons learned:

1. Don't be a martyr mom and volunteer when you have sick kids, just say no!
2. Don't save poopy underwear, sacrifice them to the the trash can and waste the dollar cost
3. Don't drug your child up with 3 kinds of OTC meds
4. Don't put your key in the same pocket as poopy underwear
5. Driving left handed while smelling poop and vomit at the same time is more hazardous than using your cell phone and driving